getting to work... tokyo style

3 trains, and 49 minutes... doesn't sound too bad.

first train, not so bad. it's pretty comfortable, just like the 8:34 St. Peters train... i get comfortable, i'm feeling good, relaxed... "easy like a sunday morning" is spinning on the imaginary record player in my head, my fears of a crazy commute is calmed. then disaster.

i get off the train to change, and walk out on to what can only be described as world war 3 on platform 2... all aboard the express to hell. it's a sense numbing experience... there are so many people, frantically searching for that little opening, train conductors and their helpers pushing people into the carriages, while the electronic sound of the "doors closing" buzzer gets ever louder and urgent.

i try to get on but fail to see where i can squeeze between the wall of people looking out at me, with their helpless eyes... "screaming, please don't try to get on, but i understand if you do"... i look to the other doors, and see people launching themselves at the human collage, suddenly i'm pushed aside by a guy who backs into a defenceless little woman, the door starts to close but half his body is outside the train... his feet are still on the platform for god sakes, there is no way he is going to make it... the door is pretty much closed, but held open by his legs, and right arm holding out a suit case... out of nowhere come the helpers... 3 of them, and they squeeze this guy inside the carriage... first the arm, and bag, then the legs. i look at the people inside the carriage as the train departs, it looks stupid. i've never seen anything like it. there is a guy pinned and contorted against the door, he looks like he is trying to lick his own nipple. wouldn't it be funny if everyone inside the train was naked...

the next train is a little better, and after becoming the meat in the sandwich, there are a few things that run through your mind but never blurt out... "whose hand is that?", "sorry, did i just sit on your face", "did you brush your teeth?", "fuck i need to get off at this stop". it's easily the most tortureous commute ever... there's gotta be a better way.